Okay, I’ll admit it

In my Twitter-world, a great group of educators who are part of the hashtag #saskedchat have created a blogging challenge for the summer.  The first challenge from last week was about “What’s holding you back?” and it’s taken me this whole week to try to verbalize why, exactly, I have so much trouble blogging my thoughts on educational topics.

Watch this 17 second clip.

That’s right.  Fear.  I am afraid.  Afraid that: #1.  I don’t sound “smart enough.”  Or, #2, worse, that my opinion is “wrong.”  Or, #3: that a colleague will think that the post is about them.

Let me address those things as if a student had said them to me:

1:  “You are smart.  Reasonably intelligent, educated and a life-long learner of your craft.  You got this.  Go for it!”

2.  “It’s an opinion.  There is no wrong.  Not everyone is going to agree with you and that’s okay!”

3.  “Keep it professional.  Anonymous.  Respectful. Besides, no one reads your blog. 🙂  ”

So I know that I should take more risks.

But still:

I think it takes a lot of courage to put your ideas out into the world to be read and criticized.  I am sometimes afraid to be challenged by the Incredibly Smart People.

I have been around education for quite a while and as we all do, I believe that what I do for the students in my classroom is always in their best interests.  I try to better myself and my craft through continued reading, learning and application of skills.  I think I need to put myself more out there in the blogging world.  When I look back to previous posts that I have written, I like what I read.

I think that’s what matters.

Find it.

Naked in a Crowd

You know that dream?  The one where you find yourself in front of a bunch of people doing a presentation or at a party and you realize you’re naked?  If you haven’t had it, you’ve probably at least heard of it.

I realized yesterday that that’s a little bit like how I feel about blogging.  I only have a few blogs but found the nerve to post the URL on Twitter and a few minutes late I noticed that my instructor for my ECMP355 class, Dean Shareski had retweeted my post to several thousand of his followers.  I have to admit that I felt a bit nauseated.  Blogging has made me experience a new level of discomfort.  A lot of vulnerability.  Very open to judgment and criticism.  I think these are good things for me.  They are making me think things through thoroughly before hitting “Publish” and they are giving me a chance for a professional and personal audience that I haven’t ever had, opening dialogue with and inviting interaction with other people. I’ve never been a risk-taker. This is risky for me.

We were asked to start our blog as part of our ECMP355 class and all of my classmates and I have done so.  I want to know if I’m the only one who is feeling this way.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love to talk and to engage and to discuss and to debate, so this is going to be really fun, I think.  I just wonder if you ever get comfortable – like REALLY comfortable – doing it.  If you have a minute, please answer this quick survey: